I was being catered to as if I was an invalid. Which I was.
"Why can't you be decent to people?" she asked.
"Fear," I said.
"Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Bach, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart, People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice.
"I took my choice, I raised the fifth of vodka and drank it straight. The Russians knew something." (177)
"I was a bush-league de Sade, without his intellect" (236).
